Walking in Washington, D.C.

“Holding hands is a promise to one another that, 

for just a moment, 

the two of you don’t have to face the world alone.”

I spent the day alone, for the most part, in Washington, D.C. today. 

How can one be alone in a big city?

It was perfect to find so many people, keeping hold of one another. 

We need more of that in this world of ours.

 May you never need walk alone.

Pizzelles and Almond Crescents

Soon I will leave for a trip where I get to visit Derrick! How exciting! The last time I saw him was at Christmas when he was able to make it home for the holiday.

One of the last times we spoke on the phone, I asked him if there was any treat from home he’d like me to bring. Of course, the first thing he said he wanted was for me to bring the kitties!

It didn’t take him long to request two of his favorite treats. (After he knew it was hopeless for him to beg for the kitties.) This is what he picked: almond crescents and pizzelles.

I wasn’t surprised about the almond crescents. He always asks for those! As do my nieces and nephews. If there is a family gathering, I’m expected to make them. No question about it. 

But the pizzelles? He had to dredge that up from some old memory. I haven’t made them very many times. In fact, the last time I really remember making them was when he was in 3rd or 4th grade. Of course, there were plenty of times that my mom made them when the family would gather. Often, when we went to visit her, there would be a container sent home, especially for Derrick because she knew how much he liked them. 

Pizzelles were a mainstay in my life growing up, an Italian anise flavored cookie backed in a iron. They were made by Mom’s best friend, an Italian. So they would show up for their family festivities. Often we were included, so we were able to share in all the Italian food delights. It didn’t take long for Margaret to recruit Mom into helping make the pizzelles, along with other things. The recipe they used called for a dozen eggs! I only used three in the batch I made today.

I’m happy to continue in the tradition of making pizzelles. In fact, Mom and Lori, my sister, made the large amount for a wedding rehersal dinner Lori is hosting tomorrow night. 

These cookies will be shared from here in Indiana to North Carolina and also in Scottsdale. That is quite the cookie! y!

I hope they make Derrick happy!

A birthday present for a special little girl. 

Just a little something. Really, nothing much. But what a joy to make and give it to her! Her smile when she saw it is precious and pure.

I realized that her birthday was close when I saw her on Sunday. Little girls are good about reminding others. (When we become big girls we prefer to forget birthdays altogether!) In my little town there isn’t much in the opportunity of shopping. 

So what to do? I remember a pattern, look in the fabric stash, dig out a yarn to coordinate. Done! A small bag. 

As soon as she sees it she slips it over her shoulder and starts to think about what she could slip inside. Isn’t that what a bag is for? Little treasures that bring a smile? 

Fierce winds do not blow all morning;

A downpour of rain does not last the day.

~ Tao Te Ching, 23rd Verse

The kitties have the right idea on a rainy Wednesday. Sleep. 

What else is there to do when the meadow is quiet due to the flood? 

In the storm of the night I went out to check on Hobo in the lightening and thunder, most displeased with the conditions. He was trying to make himself comfortable by curling up on top of a towel I’d placed on the trunk. He still refuses to go into the little house, defiled as it is by racoons sniffing it. As I stepped outside, I heard the pathetic mewing of a fawn, calling to his mother in the storm.This morning I saw a deer swimming across the flooded meadow. I wonder if the fawn was rescued by his mother in the night. 

I am moving in slow gear myself today. I could take a nap except for all the tasks that call to be done.

Nature and life teach us that nothing lasts forever. Be patient and the storm will pass. The waters will recede. 

The sun will shine again soon. 

Wake Up, Explore, Repeat

One must ask children and birds 

how cherries and strawberries taste.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My first year as a preschool teacher/director has come to a close. What an amazing adventuer I’ve had with these three to four year olds. The entire experience is so different than teaching in the inner city for so many years. Each day with them has been a blessing. Truely, this is what teaching is really all about. The excitement of learning, maybe not following a lesson plan because they needed to find out about something new. It didn’t matter what I, a simple adult, had planned. There were more important things to discover!

The last day of school was spent on a field trip to a local zoo. It brought back so many memories of having been at the same zoo with Derrick on school field trips or family excursions. Families came with us to drive, enjoy in the fun, and celebrate their children’s growth. We enjoyed lunch together in the shade. It was a perfect day.

At one point, I was with two of the boys and their families in a jungle camp. They were truly scientists in an exotic setting. They showed me lizards, snakes, and were fascinated by the skeleton of an elephant. A father shared a fascinating fact about the iguana. I was standing close by, observing, as I often do with the children. The father turned away, talking to one of the other adults in the group. But the boys weren’t done learning yet. One asked the other a question, who honestly answered, “I don’t know. Read about it here to find out!” 

This nearly answered the question I’d been asking myself about this year. Did I teach them enough? The right things? I’ll continue to reflect on that. But I do know with certainty that they have the thirst for knowledge. And more importantly, they know how they will go about finding their answers. 

I am blessed to have such meaningful work.

Dealing with Hurts

"The world is won by those who let it go. 

But when you try and try, 

the world is beyond the winning." 

~ Lao-tzu

There are moments that hurt. Digs that someone has dug right into my soul. I try to be the larger person, the whole person, and not stoop to the level of that hurter. But it is difficult. As much as I know, the lessons won, it can still get me.

When this happens I turn to the things I know will help me through it. I name the hurt. Not to give it power, but to be able to dismiss it in some way. As if to get its attention so that it can move on. It is always my choice to react to the hurts sent my way, intentionally or not.

I turn to people I know and trust. Today, when the hurt came washing over me, I sent Derrick a text. I let him know how meaningful it was to spend time in conversation with him on Saturday evening. I told him how much it means to me that he asks about how T is doing. I acknowledge his care for me and let him know how much he means to me.

In March, abandoned and dismissed as I was in the coffee shop, I turned to sending text and Facebook messages to other people I can always count on. I sent a cheerful little observation to my mom and sister about a place from a childhood adventure. Nothing that even lets on I'm hurt, but gives me a connection to those who love and care for me. I can send light and love into the Universe to those I know will appreciate it. It is almost like asking for a prayer from someone because I know the loving message I send out will be reciprocated and loving, kind thoughts will be sent in my direction when I need them most.

Delving into a creative project is always healing. Thankfully, there is an ever present knitting project that weaves the hurt right into the pattern. I can knit through most anything, thankfully not just hurts. But it looks the same to the outside world. No one else needs to know the pain that a project may have absorbed and turned into something beautiful because of it. A painting can do the same and no one ever knows the story behind what is seen on the canvas. This can be healing, too, because the painting has more depth than others that have been more specifically planned.

Reading something spiritual always helps. Thanks to the internet and portable e-readers, I'm never far from my favorite pieces. The Tao Te Ching is always close. Favorite Bible verses, mostly shared by Grandma, are not only worn into my heart memory, but can be looked up for verification. It can look so incredibly innocent, someone just looking up one more thing on the iPhone!

Close inspection of something in nature always transports me away from the pain of the moment. Giving my full attention to some small thing in nature often gives me freedom from the hurt. Sitting on the back step of the deck, peering into the depths of the fish pond has revealed many an insight into what hurt me and why. The little fishes mouth a little something, but if it isn't to their liking they end up spitting it back out. They hold on to nothing that would hurt them, not allowing it to grow in size in their small bellies.

This is all done with an awareness that I didn't have in my earlier life. These are not merely distractions so that I push the hurt deep within and not deal with it. If that is done, over a period of time, it simply morphs into something that will rear its ugly head at an inopportune time. By no means have I arrived 100%. I try my best to realize that the people who set out to hurt me are operating at a much lower energy without love in their heart. I do my best to send them a healing thought in kind. How sad it really is that there are people who think they need to inflict power and pain on others, simply so they are right, or to assert their perceived control over others.

I continue to work on not being simply a passive individual. I do not want to let another person to have power over me. I continue to assert my personal needs and not allow others to bully me.

Sure Signs of Spring

"That enchantment that I lightly took 

out of the lovely April is forever."

~ Leonie Adams

• A rainy, misty morning on the meadow, turning greener nearly by the minute.

• The buckeye tree is getting ready to bloom. I swear it wasn’t anywhere near this yesterday!

• A frog in the fishpond.

• The ice is off the lake. Loons are making their early spring visit.
• Luke came in excitedly to school one morning last week. He could barely get out, “You remember that plant we looked at that wasn’t grass but was green? It has a yellow flower on it!”

• The squirrels are running all over the meadow, up and down trees in the yard, and barking at me as I walk around looking at the spring morning.
• Friends long to walk again together in the fresh air.

• Children are playing in their yard.
• The Canada Geese are surveying the meadow for their nesting space.
• The Shibankins have awoken in the fish pond, coming to the surface to feed. They have grown! Is it my imagination, or do they seem to recognize me?

• There is no school this week as the children are on spring break. 
• The April Blood Moon was full and bright, reflecting off the water on the lake for Easter.
• Maundy Thursday.
• Good Friday.
• Easter morning!
• Celebrating Easter by having dinner at the home of friends.
• Opening day for the Royals. (They won.)
• A robin repeatedly tapping on the bedroom window this morning. Why? The kitties are tormented.