Sunday, January 30, 2011

Dreary Winter Days

To bring forth the soul of our being, we must be in our bodies, rooted to Earth, able to draw from the universal source of energy. - Diane Mariechild


January and February can be so dreary. I allow my days to be filled with ghosts from years past. As if my body being in the same calendar spot collects the pain it went through so long ago. The death of a most special person. The end of a long marriage. The Indiana cold bears down upon my body and I have to fight the urge to bury my soul and push away all light.

This year I was determined that I not sink into that familiar hole. I've been busy with school. That isn’t hard to do! Can hardly keep my head above all the new classes, lesson plans, IEPs, tutoring, etc. So I haven't had as much time to dwell on myself. Reading positive inspirational things helps. Thank God for my day books! Sarah Ban Breathnach, Julia Cameron, and Mark Nepo are my daily friends. I hang onto their thoughts and words as my tow line.

This morning, alone at a Sunday breakfast, I realize I’m doing OK. An epiphany over a cup of cinnamon toast dunked into latte. As I was doing that I literally stopped myself mid-dunk. What am I doing? All of a sudden, I am a little girl at Grandma’s table. My toast is cut into diamonds, buttered and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. Milk on the side. My entire being wrapped up in the total, unconditional love Grandma gave me, taught me about. Maybe I’d somehow known I’d need that moment when I saw the cinnamon raisin bread on sale, two for one, a couple of weeks ago. Stashed the bread right into the freezer and took it out this morning. A blessing itself, these days to find a bargain!



So thankful for the little things that can bring such comfort. Do I take enough time to actually be grateful? I don’t want to take any of the wonderful gifts I’ve been given for granted. Sometimes it seems as though I don’t have “enough.” But when I take time to look at myself, I realize that all I need has been gifted to me through the Divine. Home shelters us, keeps us warm and safe. There is always something good to eat, even if it is something simple like my breakfast this morning. I have the love of a wonderful son, one I can trust to do the right things and make good decisions. Such a blessing. My family is a continual source of love and joy. Can’t even imagine how I would survive without my siblings! No matter how far I am from them in body, they are a constant joy and presence in my life. Thank God for cell phones and the Internet!



Another simple pleasure, right at this very moment: I have two friendly cats, sitting right next to my computer screen. Little Bitty is curled up in the soft basket. Tommy is sitting next to her. He takes turns grooming himself and then her. The curtain is pulled aside to let as much winter light in as possible to my study. That light reminds me that my soul craves the light and all that is given to me. It is up to me to decide whether I bury the light, or let it shine.

This Divine world provides so much beauty and joy. I simply have to remember to be present to it. When I am, I can realize the boundless energy and love that is always there for me. Dreary days be gone!

Winter Birch

Winter Birch

Books Recently Read

  • Grace (Eventually) Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
  • Think Like a Freak by Steven Levitt
  • Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
  • The Red Tent by Anita Diamond
  • The Dinner by Herman Koch
  • The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant
  • A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson
  • The Lake House by Karen Morton
  • Memories of Heaven by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • The Whip by Karen Kondazian
  • Purity by Jonathan Franzen
  • The Art of Hearing Heartbeats by Jan-Philipp Sendker
  • The Silent Sister by Diane Chamberlain
  • The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
  • The Art of Hearing Heartbeats by Jan-Philipp Sendker
  • The Rosie Effect by Graeme Samson
  • The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
  • My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor
  • Whistling Past the Graveyard by Susan Crandall
  • Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger
  • I Can See Clearly Now by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • The Best Part of the Day by Sara Ban Breathnach
  • Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline
  • The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman
  • Chanel Bonfire by Wendy Lawless
  • The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
  • Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • Gentlemen and Players by Joanne Harris
  • Peaches for Father Francis by Joanne Harris
  • Five Quarters of the the Orange by Joanne Harris
  • Blackberry Wine by Joanne Harris
  • The Girl With No Shadow by Joanne Harris
  • Chocolat by Joanne Harris
  • The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - A Novel by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows
  • There Are No Accidents by Robert Hopcke
  • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay
  • We Thought You Would Be Prettier by Laurie Notaro
  • The Vein of Gold by Julia Cameron
  • Room by Emma Donoghue
  • House at Riverton by Kate Morton
  • Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes
  • The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron
  • Peace and Plenty by Sarah Ban Breathnach
  • The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton
  • On a Day Like This by Peter Stamm
  • Sarah's Key by Tatiana De Rosnay
  • Brida by Paulo Coelho
  • A Stopover in Venice by Kathryn Walker
  • Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho

Cats don't belong to people. They belong to places. - Wright Morris
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