Moments at the Lake

“She was learning to love moments.
To love moments for themselves,”

– Gwendolyn Brooks

Glorious days spent at the lake. Staying in the Cottage, away from all others when needed, but close enough to be with them and in the mix of it all. My entire adult life I've dreamt of living close to family. At the lake I do, a quick walk to either the home of my brother or sister. Sometimes my sister-in-law stops by on the golf cart, on the way to nowhere, and takes me with her. Half way to my sister's is the home of good lake friends. Always a wave on the way, sometimes stopping just to see what is going on.

The peace of the Cottage is like none other. Is it the cover of trees? Just right to shade from the mid-day sun and heat. Is it the ever changing view of the lake? Is it bird song? Even in the dark, I can hear the sound of a screech owl. I certainly feel like it is sacred space.

The holiday started when the family gathered for Independence Day. The tradition continues, with the young adults now coming and going according to their own schedules. A day or two with just the lake crew. Then a troop of girl friends come for a visit. My sister and I have always been able to share friends, so it was a delight to bring friends together; different states we've lived in, different phases of our lives. All intertwined in a beautiful tapestry. After they leave, again the lake crew.

Pleasant times of kayaking in the mornings and evenings when the water is quiet, before the motor boats overtake the water. Going out to the sandbar in the afternoons for fun and laughter and cold drinks. Simple seasonal foods. Walks under the stars. Moments taken to write in my journal, read a few pages, work on a creative project. All until the next call or knock comes to go on another adventure.

One evening the lake crew ended up at the Cottage where I made pizza for everyone, using up the dough I'd made for the girls. It's been a long time since I've actually "entertained" people other than teenage boys in my space. Five couples, plus me. It felt so good to have a mixed group at my place. As if I really could fit into a coupled group again someday. As my brother-in-law said, "50 year old boys like pizza as much as teenagers!"

It's been a long time since I've been away from home for so long. And I can't remember when I have ever come home from a vacation actually refreshed and relaxed. I think those moments spent at the lake will keep me feeling peaceful and revitalized for a long time to come.

The Gratitude of June

I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June. - L. M. Montgomery

Seems like these lovely days of June have simply slipped away. So many things to be grateful for, these days.

• Finding a new fabric store. http://www.thefrenchseam.com/
• Sipping a chai while chatting away with a special friend.
• The gallery walk in Zionsville.
• Sitting outside at the pub with friends on a week night, laughing over a drink or two.
• A going away party that turned into a not going away celebration.
• The gift of flowers from a friend's garden.
• Two graduation parties for Derrick.
• Dinner at a friend's house for a girls night.
• Simply having friends to do things with this summer.
• Having time to get the house clean and keep it that way.
• Starting to work on creative projects.
• Staying at the Lake Cottage for the first night.
  
  Going to yoga classes.
• Talking walks.
• Writing in the mornings.
• Loosing a few pounds.
• A lovely date night, even if it didn't lead to anything with him. It is one more step on the journey.
• Going to the fireworks and enjoying a friend's three year old delight at pointing out every color to me.
• Listening to bird song.
• Baking bread for friends.
• Not feeling lonely for the first time during the summer as a teacher when school is out.
• Seeing dew drops on the tip of every blade of grass on the morning lawn.
• Making art in the mixed media group.
  
  

Graduation Day

Derrick is now a high school graduate. The rite of passage complete. Waiting to go on to his future. The big day is followed by a small gathering of out of town guests for a burrito buffet. Combined families celebrating the best of us together.

Blurry pictures seem to symbolize the blur of the years that passed so quickly. Emotion fills my soul as I think about the joys of raising a boy. Especially one so wise. Trust that the gifts he has bestowed will return to him tenfold.

How did he know where to find me in the crowd?

Proud of his accomplishment

Finding anyone in the crowd seemed miraculous. Yet, we found all the ones that count.

A group of friends together

Think the larger celebration at the lake next week will be easier than all of this.

Last Day of High School

I don't know how this has happened! My little boy has grown into a fine young man. His very last day of school. Which isn't really even school because they've taken a bus to the stadium downtown to practice for graduation tomorrow. Derrick told me last night as he was going to bed, "This is the last time I'll ever set my alarm for school."

Memories come floating by; holding him as an infant, playing as he grows, his ever present smile those first few years, his imagination, his energy. His presence in my life has actually defined my life in so many ways. Such a gift he has been to me all these years.

Loves the cottage cheese!

Tea time in his "Indiana Jones" Hat

Snuggling with Horton at bedtime

Now his official growing up days are over. He will always be a part of me, even if he isn't with me every day from this point forward.

I'm proud of the person he has become. Amazed to think that he is who he is. His goals, while not what I would have chosen for him, are honorable. He has shown great discernment in his decision making process. That is part of who he is and I can trust he will always follow a similar process, making the best decisions for him.

Today is a flurry for me, bake favorite cookies, prepare food for the party tomorrow, clean up the mess that always happens in the house at the end of a school year, try to make pretty by hanging pictures, fluffing pillows, place flowers about. I want his day tomorrow to be filled with the memory of family and friends surrounding him, knowing that support will be there for him the rest of his days.

Luka Bloom

In June of 2009 I was fortunate enough to see Luka Bloom in person at the Old Town School of Folk Music in Chicago. Truly a magical night. I went with my sister and niece. Special memories of that evening crop up from time to time, always when I need them.

Attending a live performance of Luka Bloom's was on my "bucket list." I've had to add attending another to the list! I watch his performance schedule to see if he'll return sometime to a place I can get to. Because I've always wanted to go to Ireland, perhaps I'll be able to see him there someday. Another dream fufilled.
From the time I discovered his music, it has reached into my soul. Years and years ago, I had purchased some Christmas CD's with musicians from Ireland. Found them, actually, when working with a group of nuns. Those CD's were some of the music I took with me when I left the marriage. At that time I didn't have much music, and the music didn't particulary strike me as Christmasy. So I listened and listened. I found that I always paused on a couple. Actually stopped what I was doing and listened to the words, the music. So I looked to find out who it was. Luka Bloom. I did what any reasonable person would do and went to Barnes & Noble to find more! Haven't stopped listening yet. Thank goodness the internet makes it easy to purchase songs as not all of his music is available for purchase in the US.

Somehow his music, more than any other musician, has touched me. As if he was singing just for me. An odd thing, really, as I'm not one to be swept away by any famous people. An example of how we're all connected in this web of life. He sings a song somewhere and pulls on the web strings, making me listen from far away.

Just can't resist adding in one of my absolute favorites. Never fails to make me feel better, uplifted. Listen, watch, enjoy.

Marvelous Month of May

Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colors, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.

~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters of Rainer Maria Rilke

The Winter in my heart seemed to wait and wait for the month of May. Thankfully it is now here! Trees and flowers are in bloom, the world is once again green and lush from all the April rain. Although the weather is still damp and chilled, the sky was blue today and filled with puffy white clouds. Just right for walking. And breathing.

Life returns to Earth as it stirs my heart again. Once more I feel energized, willing to start (and finish) creative projects. Enjoy the people I love by actually seeing them in the days and weeks ahead instead of just chatting on the phone. The calendar begins to fill so quickly when the weather is better. Graduation parties, weddings, birthday celebrations, gatherings at the lake. Squeeze in time for meeting with friends for coffee or walks, exploring new to me areas in town. Scheduled training classes to keep me current and prepared for the next school year.

The waiting remains. There is nothing I can do about it. It is there. But the presence of the wait isn’t as dreadful with the beauty of May surrounding it.

Another Book

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. ~Chinese Proverb

I’ve just finished another book. The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton. Cold, damp late winter is perfect for reading books.

This is another fiction. Weaves the idea of fairy tale stories throughout four generations of women. Intertwines actual fairy tales into the connections. And gardens. A perfect book for reading in March because I was transported to the beauty of my forgotten gardens in the depth of this everlasting winter. I know I needed the fantasy of the story because I took it with me to my dreams at night, obviously unwilling to stop the life of the story simply because my tired eyes and brain couldn’t keep going.

The idea of fairies caught my fancy early in the book and didn’t let go. A poster hung on the bedroom wall of a house long ago. It was the house where my sister and I shared the entire upper floor of a small Cape Cod house, half play room and half sleeping room. We were young girls and fantasy abounded in that room. The poster, in my memory, was of dark colors. A beautiful nature scene, at the edge of water. Where you could look into the water and see life teemed below. There were fairies and other beings both above and below the water. Pure delight, with just a small amount of danger lurking nearby. I have often thought of that poster and wish I could somehow find it again. Might make the perfect hanging in my study, where much of my fantasy life lives these days.

With spring coming, it seems perfect to think of fairies living about me. I’ve found, packed away, a couple of fairy prints that I do have, even framed. They must have been waiting for me to wake up, along with the coming spring. Think they’ll be perfect in my study. Who knows what magic might result?