Fierce winds do not blow all morning;

A downpour of rain does not last the day.

~ Tao Te Ching, 23rd Verse

The kitties have the right idea on a rainy Wednesday. Sleep. 

What else is there to do when the meadow is quiet due to the flood? 

In the storm of the night I went out to check on Hobo in the lightening and thunder, most displeased with the conditions. He was trying to make himself comfortable by curling up on top of a towel I’d placed on the trunk. He still refuses to go into the little house, defiled as it is by racoons sniffing it. As I stepped outside, I heard the pathetic mewing of a fawn, calling to his mother in the storm.This morning I saw a deer swimming across the flooded meadow. I wonder if the fawn was rescued by his mother in the night. 

I am moving in slow gear myself today. I could take a nap except for all the tasks that call to be done.

Nature and life teach us that nothing lasts forever. Be patient and the storm will pass. The waters will recede. 

The sun will shine again soon. 

Wake Up, Explore, Repeat

One must ask children and birds 

how cherries and strawberries taste.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My first year as a preschool teacher/director has come to a close. What an amazing adventuer I’ve had with these three to four year olds. The entire experience is so different than teaching in the inner city for so many years. Each day with them has been a blessing. Truely, this is what teaching is really all about. The excitement of learning, maybe not following a lesson plan because they needed to find out about something new. It didn’t matter what I, a simple adult, had planned. There were more important things to discover!

The last day of school was spent on a field trip to a local zoo. It brought back so many memories of having been at the same zoo with Derrick on school field trips or family excursions. Families came with us to drive, enjoy in the fun, and celebrate their children’s growth. We enjoyed lunch together in the shade. It was a perfect day.

At one point, I was with two of the boys and their families in a jungle camp. They were truly scientists in an exotic setting. They showed me lizards, snakes, and were fascinated by the skeleton of an elephant. A father shared a fascinating fact about the iguana. I was standing close by, observing, as I often do with the children. The father turned away, talking to one of the other adults in the group. But the boys weren’t done learning yet. One asked the other a question, who honestly answered, “I don’t know. Read about it here to find out!” 

This nearly answered the question I’d been asking myself about this year. Did I teach them enough? The right things? I’ll continue to reflect on that. But I do know with certainty that they have the thirst for knowledge. And more importantly, they know how they will go about finding their answers. 

I am blessed to have such meaningful work.

Dealing with Hurts

"The world is won by those who let it go. 

But when you try and try, 

the world is beyond the winning." 

~ Lao-tzu

There are moments that hurt. Digs that someone has dug right into my soul. I try to be the larger person, the whole person, and not stoop to the level of that hurter. But it is difficult. As much as I know, the lessons won, it can still get me.

When this happens I turn to the things I know will help me through it. I name the hurt. Not to give it power, but to be able to dismiss it in some way. As if to get its attention so that it can move on. It is always my choice to react to the hurts sent my way, intentionally or not.

I turn to people I know and trust. Today, when the hurt came washing over me, I sent Derrick a text. I let him know how meaningful it was to spend time in conversation with him on Saturday evening. I told him how much it means to me that he asks about how T is doing. I acknowledge his care for me and let him know how much he means to me.

In March, abandoned and dismissed as I was in the coffee shop, I turned to sending text and Facebook messages to other people I can always count on. I sent a cheerful little observation to my mom and sister about a place from a childhood adventure. Nothing that even lets on I'm hurt, but gives me a connection to those who love and care for me. I can send light and love into the Universe to those I know will appreciate it. It is almost like asking for a prayer from someone because I know the loving message I send out will be reciprocated and loving, kind thoughts will be sent in my direction when I need them most.

Delving into a creative project is always healing. Thankfully, there is an ever present knitting project that weaves the hurt right into the pattern. I can knit through most anything, thankfully not just hurts. But it looks the same to the outside world. No one else needs to know the pain that a project may have absorbed and turned into something beautiful because of it. A painting can do the same and no one ever knows the story behind what is seen on the canvas. This can be healing, too, because the painting has more depth than others that have been more specifically planned.

Reading something spiritual always helps. Thanks to the internet and portable e-readers, I'm never far from my favorite pieces. The Tao Te Ching is always close. Favorite Bible verses, mostly shared by Grandma, are not only worn into my heart memory, but can be looked up for verification. It can look so incredibly innocent, someone just looking up one more thing on the iPhone!

Close inspection of something in nature always transports me away from the pain of the moment. Giving my full attention to some small thing in nature often gives me freedom from the hurt. Sitting on the back step of the deck, peering into the depths of the fish pond has revealed many an insight into what hurt me and why. The little fishes mouth a little something, but if it isn't to their liking they end up spitting it back out. They hold on to nothing that would hurt them, not allowing it to grow in size in their small bellies.

This is all done with an awareness that I didn't have in my earlier life. These are not merely distractions so that I push the hurt deep within and not deal with it. If that is done, over a period of time, it simply morphs into something that will rear its ugly head at an inopportune time. By no means have I arrived 100%. I try my best to realize that the people who set out to hurt me are operating at a much lower energy without love in their heart. I do my best to send them a healing thought in kind. How sad it really is that there are people who think they need to inflict power and pain on others, simply so they are right, or to assert their perceived control over others.

I continue to work on not being simply a passive individual. I do not want to let another person to have power over me. I continue to assert my personal needs and not allow others to bully me.

Sure Signs of Spring

"That enchantment that I lightly took 

out of the lovely April is forever."

~ Leonie Adams

• A rainy, misty morning on the meadow, turning greener nearly by the minute.

• The buckeye tree is getting ready to bloom. I swear it wasn’t anywhere near this yesterday!

• A frog in the fishpond.

• The ice is off the lake. Loons are making their early spring visit.
• Luke came in excitedly to school one morning last week. He could barely get out, “You remember that plant we looked at that wasn’t grass but was green? It has a yellow flower on it!”

• The squirrels are running all over the meadow, up and down trees in the yard, and barking at me as I walk around looking at the spring morning.
• Friends long to walk again together in the fresh air.

• Children are playing in their yard.
• The Canada Geese are surveying the meadow for their nesting space.
• The Shibankins have awoken in the fish pond, coming to the surface to feed. They have grown! Is it my imagination, or do they seem to recognize me?

• There is no school this week as the children are on spring break. 
• The April Blood Moon was full and bright, reflecting off the water on the lake for Easter.
• Maundy Thursday.
• Good Friday.
• Easter morning!
• Celebrating Easter by having dinner at the home of friends.
• Opening day for the Royals. (They won.)
• A robin repeatedly tapping on the bedroom window this morning. Why? The kitties are tormented.

St. Patrick's Day

May the embers from the open hearth warm your hands,

May the sun's rays from the Irish sky warm your face,

May the children's bright smiles warm your heart,

May the everlasting love I give you warm your soul.

~ Traditional Irish Blessing

This time of year we long for the onset of spring in northern Indiana. Maybe that is one of the reasons I enjoy St. Patrick’s Day so much. One of the many reasons!

This morning we had a wonderful time in the preschool class. We made green “clean mud” to mush between small fingers, read Jamie O’Rourke and the Big Potato by Tomie dePaola, planted potatoes, made dyed green pasta necklaces, and had shamrock shakes for snack. Along with other fun things. What a joy it is to see the bright smiles on the children’s face. Talk about warming my heart!

The soda bread is rising, potatoes are roasting for a potato leek soup, the sun is shining, and I’m listening to Irish music. Life is full of blessings!

The meadow is still brown. So I have to look at photos of green from last summer to remind me that the world will turn green again.

Yesterday was warm, high 60’s. When I was in the back yard I saw the recently awakened goldfish in the pond. What a delight! I wasn’t sure if they would be able to survive the cold of winter, even though T put a heater in the pond. 

The green will return.

Still Meadow View

Still Meadow View

January 2, 2015

Last year I started taking pictures out the back door at 10:00 in the morning. The mornings I was at home and remembered to do it. Sometimes the photos were hit and miss. This year I decided to do the same. Just to mix it up a bit, I selected a different view. Just a few steps away and point the camera in the opposite direction.

January 5, 2015

This is the view of the Still Meadow out the back door. The deck overlooks the floodplane, leading to the trees growing along side the Kenapocomoco River. We can only see the water in the river when it is running high and fast. During certain times of the year the water washes completly over the banks and poors onto the meadow. Just as it ihas done for centuries. This is good for us because it means that no one will build in this meadow, keeping it quiet and peaceful.

January 6, 2015

This morning there was a hard frost in the night. Frozen, actually, with a temperature of -4 in the night. This morning the light sparkles and makes the snow glow. 

January 7, 2015

January 12, 2015

January 14, 2015

Welcome to the New Year!

And now we welcome the new year, full of things 

that have never been.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

This starts the second year of my marriage to T. It was a pure delight to spend the New Year at the lake, gathered at my sister’s house with family and friends. As soon as everyone said, “Happy New Year!” they would turn to us and say, “Happy Anniversary!” As if the party was in celebration just for us! Which of course, it wasn’t, except in my heart.

Mother and Son Love

What a joy it was to be gathered together in a special place for all of us. All the better because Derrick was home for the holiday with us, on leave all the way from North Carolina at Camp Lejuene. Lake friends and family. Clear skies and cold. The warmth of times shared together and the anticipation of things yet to come. Couldn’t be much better than that!

Friends at the Lake

This will be another good year. How could it not? My heart is full with love and gratitude, for what is now and what is yet to be.

Ladies of the Lake

All smiles!

Even the men posed!