What Was I Thinking?

All weekend the Dierks Bentley song title keeps going through my mind. No, I'm not crazy enough to run in the truck through danger . . . but What Was I Thinking?

Today is the last day I have before my two students from Taiwan arrive for a month. Into my humble home. Dropped into an inner city school during the day. Into two crazy cats and one teenager. To show them "typical America." Am I that? My single parent home. I certainly feel far away from the excess and success that so many people in the world associate to America.

Most of the house is clean enough. Working on the study today. Oh my. This space where I work on lessons, pay bills, do art work, house my books, sew, create words, dream. Little piles of all the pieces I am. Once I was brave enough to take a photo of my study. Not today. Maybe only an after picture . . . someday. Not today, I think.

Still, it is a good idea to have them here. Something that has the potential to make a lasting impact on the four of us in years to come. A connection across the world that will exist forever. I've always had friends around the globe, this is just another one. Sharing our daily lives for a month will connect us in a way that few have the opportunity to have. It isn't just a sight seeing trip.

Then there is the idea of them at school. Oh my. Please, please don't think of America as just that vision of the inner city school. While there are good things that happen there every day, glimmers of hope and progress, learning . . . there is also the angry voice, the bullying and meanness between, random acts of violence and destruction.

Hopefully they will see through some of that to the goodness that exists in the individual students and teachers there.  Hopefully they won't be disappointed in our daily life. Hopefully they think cats are OK. Hopefully they won't think our food is disgusting. Hopefully they will see the love that exists in our home, our safe haven in the world. Hopefully they will have a good impression of America to take back to their family and friends in Taiwan. Hopefully they will have positive experiences to remember about America in their years ahead. To remember that there are those of us who try to make a difference in the world and that the small pieces (like those found in my study) make up more than the whole that others sometimes see.

Back to the quagmire. It is looking better.